Brie Fit

My due date came and went yesterday with nothing exciting to report.  Not surprising, since some ridiculously low percentage of babies actually come on their due dates, but Tim and I are disgustingly punctual people so I was hoping our kid might be, too.

But no dice.

Tim absolutely insisted on taking a photo of me on my due date.  I post it here JUST because I want to remember how un-glamorous this pregnancy thing is when I get the baby fever again sometime. Please note greasy, unwashed hair, food stains on shirt, swollen sausage fingers, double chin.

I feel like I am at a point where people kind of bow out of advice getting.  I’m getting a lot of, “well, I delivered at 38/39 weeks and was miserable enough, so…I can’t even imagine how awful you feel now!”

Thanks.  Helpful.

A whole crop of new symptoms have appeared in the last few days, too, which is fun.  They include:

• Acid reflux.  I’ve been gloriously reflux-free until now, when I wake up in the middle of the night gagging on fire.
• Swelling.  I have sausage fingers and toes. 
• Carpal tunnel, or just generally stiff, painful fingers.
• Pubic bone separation of some kind.  This one is no joke.  TMI: while wiping the other day, I noticed THAT I CAN STICK MY HAND between the two halves of my pelvis.  I can walk, but forget anything that involves my legs going in two different directions.  Rolling over in bed and putting pants on are particularly awful.
• Inability to sleep.  Everyone keeps telling me to stock up now, but I seem to be an insomniac at night, and I keep waking up because my pelvis hurts so much.

Also?  I would just like to say that complaining about how uncomfortable I am right now is not related to my gratitude and absolutely joy that we are lucky enough to be having a healthy baby.  I have received a few snarky comments about how I should just be grateful—and trust me, I am.  But I am also allowed to be in pain, and it’s something of a dick move to say that I should just suck it up and deal quietly because I wanted this and I’ve suffered miscarriages.  That’s all.

Anyway, I’m on maternity leave now, which is kind of awesome for the time being.  I am glad I won’t have to worry about traffic, commuting, driving myself home in labor, co-worker comments, and back pain from my stupid desk chair anymore.  I have already turned fifteen pounds of apples into applesauce and am about to go get the oil changed in my car.  Awesome!

Anyone want to place a wager on this baby’s arrival date/size?  Leave it in the comments.

…and still pregnant.

I haven’t been blogging lately because frankly, my mind is pretty much 100% consumed with impending baby.  I am completely in the "get it out" mindset now.  It hurts and I’m tired.  Mentally, I’ve been "preparing" myself to go late from day one since I know the first-time-mom lottery isn’t in my favor, but there is really nothing you can do to prepare for this. 

The good was that this was my last week of work, but man, it wasn’t pretty.  I was dragging major ass all week.  I am so, so tired of wearing the same 8 maternity dresses, let me tell you.

My co-workers threw me a book-themed shower, so this kid is fully prepared to be a big nerd like his parents now–it was very sweet of them and I had a great time!

The bullet points:

• I feel like I’ve been kicked in the crotch.  My pubic bone is obviously separating and it makes doing anything in which my legs need to go two different directions extremely painful.  The absolute worst things are putting on pants, rolling over in bed, and getting up into our very high bed.  Ouch.
• Doctor’s appointment again billed us both as perfectly healthy, but involved the phrases, "We’re just going to have to wait this kid out," and "hmm, there’s got to be a cervix up in there SOMEWHERE."  So basically, no progress, but essentially all that is meaningless anyway.  (RIGHT?  RIGHT!?!??)  My OBs are very natural-minded, and don’t talk induction until you start getting past 41 weeks, which is both reassuring and panic-inducing.
• Foot cramps.
• One of the frustrating things about being almost due is that I feel like I can’t procrastinate anything!  Everything has to get done right now this minute…or it might not get done.  And I feel like my house has to be fairly tidy all the time, because God forbid I go into labor with dust bunnies on the floor.
• Baby’s movements are starting to hurt.  He is clearly running out of room, so when he sticks knees or elbows or a butt out, I really feel like he’s stretching out my skin beyond what it should be.
• Related: oh, the stretch marks.  I avoided them altogether, but now there are more every day, mostly in a nice smile beneath my belly button.
• Absolutely no contractions.  Mild cramping, some in my lower back, some that could be round ligament pain.
• Did acupuncture last Saturday and going again later today.  Since I was 38w6d at my last appointment, she did a more gentle “labor preparation” session, but said she would step up the intensity this week, since I will be just twelve hours shy of my due date.  And if I DO reach the point where there’s an induction on the calendar, I’ll go in for a full-blown acupuncture induction first.
• I gave up on the idea of cooking a beautiful freezer full of meals to eat after the baby is here.  I’ve been lucky to get dinner on the table at all this week, so forget any extra cooking.  Instead, I went to Trader Joe’s and stocked up on frozen meals and snacks.  Same difference, right?

So, now I’m on maternity leave. 

have had a generally easy, very healthy pregnancy, for which I am very thankful.  In fact, I found myself telling my OB this week, "It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be."  And that’s true!  I really anticipated that I would be horribly uncomfortable at this point, and I’m not. 

Buuut I’m kind of over it.  I have one more week of work, and I am just not quite mentally all there anymore.  I am achy by the end of the day, and we’ve still been seeing triple digit temperatures every day.  And I am rapidly outgrowing my maternity clothes, or also getting stains all over them because I can’t eat a meal without covering my giant belly in food.  And I can’t go out in public without feeling like a total sideshow.

And you know what I realized last week?  Between miscarriages and this pregnancy, I have been pregnant for almost the entire last year.  (Beginning in early September 2011, I was only NOT pregnant in some capacity from November 1-20 and December 3-24-ish 2011.  I have been pregnant for all of 2012, though we didn’t find out until a few days after the new year).  Gross, right?

Every morning I wake up and think, "damn.  Still pregnant.  Guess I have to go to work today."

But enough bitching.  I’m going to use this weekend to spoil myself and do things I enjoy.  I got a pedicure last night after work.  Whee! 

Randoms:

• It’s hilarious now when people are like, "DON’T LIFT THAT BOX!" and whatnot.  I want to be like, "Um, so what if it sends me into labor?  I’m full term, bitches.  Give me more boxes!"
• Doctor’s appointment this week was fine.  Baby and I are the picture of health.  My blood pressure was something like 110/70, baby’s heartbeat was in the 140s. 
• I have had some signs of progress, but nothing major or worth getting excited about.  But I get excited about it anyway, and it leads to a big fat nothing.
• I read two books of birth stories this week, both of which I enjoyed much more than the oft-recommended, absurdly crunchy Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  The first was The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times about a midwife working with nuns in London after the war.  I am currently working on Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife, which is about a midwife in California in the 1960s.  I have really enjoyed both of them and it’s been great to read birth stories that are less about visualizing ocean waves in my yoni or whatever than about regular women, having babies in whatever way feels best to them.
• Still love our giant bathtub so, so, so much.  That is where I do most of my reading.  I soak for about an hour each night and it’s the happiest part of my day.
• Going for acupuncture today.  I haven’t been since the end of first trimester, since everything has been so easy peasy for me.  According to my acupuncturist, these “pre-birth” treatments will help start relaxing everything to prepare for labor.  And if I DO reach the stage where my OBs think I need to be induced, I can do an acupuncture induction with her first to try to prevent that.  (But, I’m not there yet.  Tomorrow is just general birth prep.)

Almost there.  It is crazy that the milk in my fridge will expire after my due date!

…because all things of actual consequence are done at this point.

• What if I go into labor at work?  Can I drive the 25 minutes home or will I have to have Tim come get me and leave my car there?  And if so, who will pick up my car?
• Who is going to pick my mom and sister up at the airport when they come?
• What if I go into labor in the middle of the night and we can’t take Milhouse to be boarded?
• Do I have enough coffee in the house for houseguests?  What will I feed them?
• What if all of our produce goes bad while I’m in the hospital?
• What if the baby doesn’t like me?
• Why haven’t I replaced the ugly drawer pulls in the spare bathroom?  They’re awful.
• What if I go into labor before my last day of work and the food in my snack drawer goes bad?
• Or what if I can’t put up an Out of Office e-mail message in time?
• What if I have to have a c-section?  I am scared of surgery.
• Why don’t I have any burp cloths? 
• What if the baby comes out and he’s actually a she?
• What if we miss trash pick-up day and the garbage starts to smell?

It’s going to be a looong few weeks.  (38 weeks, 1 day today and the countdown is on.)

I’ve been working on the nursery since we found out we were having a boy, and…ta-da!  Now it’s done.

When I started the whole nursery decoration process, I was a weensy bit overwhelmed.  I tend to think in negatives rather than positives when it comes to planning, so I first started to think about what I didn’t want.  That list included:

• Tree decals. They are everywhere.  I’m allergic to trees anyway.
• Birds.  I don’t like birds and I think owls are creepy.
• Anything too gender-neutral.  I’m not saying I want our children to have rooms that look like ballerinas and footballs threw up all over them, but I really am not a fan of 95% of the gender-neutral nurseries I’ve seen.  I don’t like yellow, I don’t like green. 
• Bed-in-a-bag type sets from Babies R Us or similar.  I don’t need rockstar monkeys all over the every damn thing in the room.  Subtle themes, people.
• Pastels.  With a boy, I wanted to do something a little bit more bright and fun.

So, of course, I went to Pinterest and started a board around the theme I’d had in the back of my mind: children’s books.  Slowly, and with the help of a very talented friend who made our crib bedding and curtains, things started coming together bit by bit.

The view from the door:

The nursery gets a LOT of bright, direct sunlight, so we had blackout curtains made.  They are still pretty hard to photograph, but I did my best!

We went for a cheap but well-reviewed crib (Graco Lauren) and dressed it up with fancy bedding made by a friend.  (YES, I will remove the bumpers and stuffed animals before there’s an actual baby in there—decoration only!)

For the gallery wall, we used images from our favorite children’s books plus prints from Etsy.

The books featured include Corduroy, Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel, Now We are Six, Babar, Curious George, The Cat in the Hat, Where the Wild Things Are, The Big Orange Splot, and a vintage alphabet book.

The glider was our big splurge item, but it is SO comfortable.  I am still on the hunt for a tiny side table or nightstand that will hold a small lamp and a few other odds and ends!

Neener neener.  We have a name (and a yarn monogram on the wall that is super cute) but we’re not telling. 

I admit that the dresser is a bit small.  But we have a lot of closet storage space and I adore the red glass knobs.  Also, we have a funky chevron changing pad cover on the way that matches the other nursery fabrics that I think will be a fun contrast.

This will be for toys, books, etc.

The closet!  It looks kind of messy but is quite organized, actually.

Bought these dividers on Etsy.  They were very cute but I was a wee bit annoyed that I had to cut and assemble them myself.  Oh well, shoulda read closer.

Bear and Sophie.

The bear in the back was made out of a quilt my grandmother made a long time ago.  We also have a Sleep Sheep, a Pacimal, and Big and Little Nutbrown Hare from Guess How Much I Love You.

Light switch cover detail—the fabric matches the pillow on the glider.

Glider and ottoman: Best Chairs Quinn from USA Baby

Paint: Behr River’s Edge from Home Depot

Crib: Graco Lauren from Target

Crib mattress: Colgate Clasica from Amazon

Crib sheet: QuickZip sheet set from Amazon

Dresser: vintage, refinished by me, from Good Ju Ju

Gallery wall frames: Canopy from Wal-Mart

Storage cubes: Closetmaid from Target

Storage cube bins: Closetmaid from Target

Closet Dividers: HeadsUpGirlsBaby on Etsy

Let the Wild Rumpus Start print: Rawartletterpress on Etsy

Bunny and hedgehog prints: Trafalgar Square on Etsy

Dumbledore print: Custom West Eighty Third on Etsy

Crib skirt and curtain fabric: Remix Dot Stripe in Celebration by Robert Kaufman

Crib bumper fabric: Red Argyle by Robert Kaufman

Changing pad cover (in progress) fabric : Remix Zigzag in Celebration by Robert Kaufman

Yarn monogram: DIY, using this tutorial

Video monitor: Motorola from Amazon

Happy September 1!  I am having a baby THIS MONTH, come hell or high water.  I’ll be 42 weeks on the last day of the month, and my OB most likely won’t let me go much past 41.5 weeks.  Bananas.

Hi Milhouse.  No, this is not your personal pillow.

This week, the good:

• Doctor’s appointment went well.  Baby’s heartbeat is fine, and my blood pressure and such are fine, although the doctor commented that my weight gain was, "plenty, but not much we can do about that at this point."  That was a little rough.  But he’s right and we’re healthy, so that’s what matters.
• We had the car seat inspected.  Tim installed it perfectly so it took all of five minutes.  Three cheers for Tim!
• My deep love of our giant bathtub with jets.  I have, no lie, taken a bath every single night this week and stayed in there until I’m pruny.  It’s the only thing that makes my back and hips feel better at the end of a long day. 
• I don’t feel awful.  I am actually surprised that I still feel mostly decent, just big, and kind of achy, and tired, and OMG so sick of triple digit temperatures.

This week, the bad:

• Stretch marks.  I escaped them until 37 weeks, 5 days, and then I woke up that morning with Saturn-like rings around my belly button.  So close, but yet so far.
• The comments.  I get that people are trying to be encouraging and positive, but telling me, repeatedly, "I think you’ll have the baby this weekend!" is just not helpful because a) I don’t want to get my hopes up, as my doctors have told me to plan on 41+ weeks; and b) it is basically a nice way of saying, "wow, you’re huge." 
• YES, MONDAY IS LABOR DAY.  Hysterical.  Haven’t heard that one before, har har har.
• Not sleeping well because of the multiple bathroom trips a night.
• The nostalgia (or whatever you want to call it).  I suspect that maybe I liked pregnancy more than I think I did, because now that it’s almost over I’m like, "but I don’t want to have to share the baby with anyone else!"  Yeah, parts of pregnancy really suck, but I feel all weepy and emotional thinking about how it’s almost over.
• We went out to dinner Saturday night and my belly did not fit in the booth.  Mortifying.
• My maternity clothes are getting too short/small.  As if my wardrobe wasn’t limited enough already…it’s getting desperate.

And so, we keep on trucking.  Any day now!

Other possible subtitles: a study in growing out a short haircut; a tour of ugly bathrooms; or I can’t believe I used to think I was big.

Depending on how you judge it (some people say 37 weeks, some say 38), I’m now one day shy of full term pregnant.

And this is what that looks like:

I’m no longer panicked.  I feel like some sort of calming hormone has been released, and even though I can get ragey about all kinds of other stuff, I am not afraid of labor, or being a mom anymore.  Maybe I should be? 

I know we’re as ready for this as we can get.  I know Tim is going to be a totally amazing father, and we are going to be lucky enough to have family and friends to help us find our way.

Anyway, remember how I said I wouldn’t write a birth plan?  Well, I’m still not, but we decided it would be a wise idea to have a cheat sheet regarding purely medical decisions, just in case.  I refuse to say things like "I will want music" or "I will require vanilla-scented candles, green Gatorade, and three pillows" because I still have no idea what my preferences will be.  But medical decisions probably won’t change in the moment.  So, without further ado, my birth “cheat sheet” or whatever:

• I would prefer to have a flexible birth environment above all else and want to know my options before any decisions are made.
• I would like to go without pain medication for as long as I can tolerate, but I am open to pain relief and will ask for it if needed.  In the event that I request pain relief, I would prefer an epidural to analgesics.
• I would prefer to tear naturally over an episiotomy. 
• After the birth, we would like the cord clamping and cutting delayed until it stops pulsing.  We would prefer to delay any non-emergent procedures such as a bath until after breastfeeding has been established.
• In the event the baby and I must be separated, Tim is to stay with the baby at all times.
• We are undecided on circumcision and would like to speak with our pediatrician before it is done.

Anyway, that’s the best I could come up with, and I think it’s pretty clear.  I really hope I don’t get the eyeroll for being the chick with the birth plan, but I think this one’s fairly flexible, which is what we were going for.  (BTW, skin-to-skin immediately post-birth is the default at my hospital, which is why I didn’t write it in there.)  I may or may not even give it to my doctor.  I don’t know.  It was helpful to write it out, anyway.

This week:

• Another doctor’s appointment.  Everything is normal.  I saw the OB this week who did my D&C back in November, and it was bittersweet.  Seeing him reminded me of my losses, of course, but I’m glad to be seeing him in this state this time around.  He was very impressed that I have not had any swelling at all, my blood pressure was in the 120/70 range, baby’s heartbeat was 152 and my fundal height is right on track.
• Serious craving for fountain pop.  I want a huge Diet Coke with lots of ice, and the canned variety will not do.
• At least 2-3 bathroom trips overnight.  Laying on my side all night makes my hip ache ON that side, so I tend to sleep to the left, get up to pee, switch to the right, get up to pee, repeat.
• Generally large, tired, easily annoyed, and my back and hips ache, but…you know.  That’s normal, I guess.  I feel surprisingly good given the circumstances, so long as I take it relatively easy and don’t try to do too much.

And now…we wait.

So, one thing people have told me to do is to really take these last few weeks and DO things.

I think it’s solid advice.  Most of my nesting is done, I’m too big and clumsy to do any serious cleaning, I have no desire to cook freezer meals, and I will drive myself batty coming up with more ways to organize the baby’s socks in his drawer if I sit at home.

I certainly don’t think our lives will END after we have this baby, but they will undoubtedly change and I’m soaking in the DINK lifestyle for all I can right now.

So.  In the last few weeks, I have:

• gone to a Chiefs game–my first NFL game, ever.  It was in a suite and was pretty swanky, and now I never want to sit in regular seats again.

• gone to a Royals game–work-mandated, but still fun.
• taken more hot baths than I care to count.  Epsom salts plus tub jets is like pregnancy catnip. 
• gotten pedicures and manicures.  Several.  If I can’t reach my feet, it’s worth the $22.
• napped on weekends and after work.  When the urge hits me now, I don’t fight it!
• hosted a BBQ for friends (which they then, sweetly, turned into a baby shower of sorts for us) and stayed up later than usual, chatting and eating cake and watching them drink beer
• gone out to dinner, just the two of us
• walked around Target solo, taking as much time as I wanted
• gotten caught up on dentist visits, ordered prescriptions that needed refilling, and put bills on monthly auto-pay

This weekend, I’m planning a haircut/dye/eyebrow wax on Friday, brunch with girlfriends on Sunday, and next weekend, we’ll probably do one last casino trip with Tim’s uncle!

What other things should I do before the baby comes?

Every pregnant lady does one.  Why should I be any different?

Anyway, this is my shot-in-the-dark attempt to pack for the hospital.  I’m 36 weeks now, so, you know, go time is in the horrifyingly imminent future. 

I cobbled this all together from recommendations from friends, the hospital’s suggestions, and various blog lists.

First things first—we are not really duffel bag people.  This is a medium size wheely suitcase, with one half dedicated to Tim/food, and one half dedicated to me.  We are also bringing the diaper bag with baby stuff in it.

Tim’s side (which I packed for him, you’re welcome):

Top to bottom, we have:

• Comfy man shorts
• Extra t-shirts
• Socks
• Swim trunks (in case I want him to get in the giant birthing room shower with me, and/or need him to rescue me out of it)
• Ziploc bag filled with snacks.  Our hospital doesn’t really permit food beyond clear liquid during labor, but Tim might get hungry and I’ll be there two days. Plus, we walked by the cafeteria and it smelled awful, so I’m going to guess I might get hungry at some point.  Snacks include:
• Peanut butter crackers
• Pretzels
• Mini-bags of cookies (I am pretty sure I will deserve a damn cookie after birth)
• Fruit leather
• Clif Shot Blocks (kind of like clear liquid, right?  Might get snuck in if I get starving during labor)
• Packets of almond butter (ditto)
• Trail mix
• Camera charger

My side of the bag:

Again, roughly top to bottom:

• “Sleep wrap” from Target—super comfy, was on clearance, figure it will be nice to throw on over a nursing tank if I decide to ditch the hospital gown later on
• Hair dryer—they don’t have them at the hospital and my hair is not air-dry friendly
• Slippers
• Pajama pants
• T-shirt for going home (it fit me until about 23w pregnant, so I’m hoping it will work)
• Nursing tank
• Toiletry bag, including:
• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Body wash
• Lotion
• Razor
• Toothpaste
• Contacts (I wear daily disposables)
• Hair ties
• Headbands (a Sweaty Band and a Bondi Band)
• Nursing pads
• Socks
• Crappy giant underpants
• Robe

Baby’s bag:

• Boppy (the one thing the hospital lactation consultant said to bring)
• Baby book—for footprints/handprints
• Aden and Anais swaddle blanket
• BabyLegs
• Two sleepers
• One newborn sized
• One 0-3 month sized (sidenote: we got this sleeper as a gift and I’m obsessed—it’s super soft and adorable and has fold-over mittens on it)
• Two onesies
• One newborn sized
• One 0-3 month sized (also, in case baby is born on a Mizzou gameday)
• Going home outfit

Things we will need to pack last minute:

• Camera and cord
• Laptop
• Kindle
• Toothbrushes
• Makeup
• Phone chargers
• My glasses
• Hairbrush
• This nursing-friendly sports bra I just ordered that I might want to labor in
• My purse, which will have ID/lip balm/etc in it

And that’s that.

Anything glaringly obvious that I’m forgetting?