This is not the post I wanted to write
Today I was supposed to shock the hell out of all of you guys and let you know that I’m 10.5 weeks pregnant.
I bought a shirt, even. Okay, two shirts.
I’ve been blogging furiously since September 10th, and saving posts as drafts, planning to make a big reveal and then hit publish.
I was going to tell you about how I found out in a hotel room in Toronto, and bought a bunch of ridiculous French pregnancy tests because I thought they were adorable.
I’ve had nausea, and exhaustion, and giant, painful boobs.
I quit coffee and Diet Coke and wine and box jumps cold turkey. I took prenatal vitamins the size of a golf ball. I neglected the blog because it was hard to keep a secret, and half the time, I felt like crap anyway.
Except today there was no heartbeat. And an ultrasound confirmed that our baby was not a baby at all, but a blighted ovum slash missed miscarriage.
So, I felt pregnant, had positive pregnancy tests (approximately one million of them), had the hormones, had a placenta, and had a sac. Once they said “missed miscarriage,” I tuned out, and I’m not totally clear if the sac was empty, or if it contained an embryo that stopped developing very early. Either way, it doesn’t matter—whatever was in there was our baby, and we loved it so hard from day one.
I am at home waiting to miscarry naturally. I’ve been on progesterone support for weeks due to slightly low levels, but once I stop, the process should begin. I just pray that it ends quickly and without complication or pain.
We are absolutely heartbroken. But we know that we are young, healthy, conceived quickly, and there’s absolutely nothing we could have done to prevent this.
I don’t know when I’ll be back, but your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
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I am so sad to hear this news and sorry for your loss. You and your husband are in my thoughts & prayers.
Big hugs, so sorry to hear this
I am so sorry to hear about this. Prayers for you and Tim.
I am so sorry for your loss. Many thoughts and prayers to you and your husband.
Diane @ DixieJulep recently posted..Your Three Words: Fall is Here!
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and Tim are in my thoughts.
My heart breaks for you. Take care of your self.
You and Tim are in my thoughts.
I am so sorry for your loss, I have been following your blog for a while now from over on another message board. My heart breaks for you. I went through this in February, and posts like this from other bloggers made me feel like there was someone I could relate to when friends and family (all besides my husband) did a really sucky job. You are so strong! (hugs)
Bri I am so sorry, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mallory recently posted..Day off
Brie, I’m so sorry
You and Tim are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jessica recently posted..Apparently I’m not allowed out of the house without my husband unless I know what my favorite color is.
Brie,
I’m so sorry for you and Tim. You’re in my thoughts.
Oh Brie, I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine how crappy this must be for you guys. Sending lots of vibes and thoughts and zombie hugs your way. Go cuddle some furry things.
I am so sorry to read about this. I know how devestated you must feel right now. You are in my thoughts.
I heard a rumor a while ago and kept waiting for your big blog announcement. I am so sorry that you had to announce this instead. I have had so many friends miscarry and go on to have healthy babies, and I know that you will, too. Thoughts and prayers to you.
Anne recently posted..The Big 3-0
Brie,
So sorry that this had to happen to you and Tim. Right now take some time for yourselves, all of us out here in the world will be thinking about you and praying for better things for you. Much love.
P.S.- My mom had a miscarriage with her first pregnancy as well and went on to deliver three healthy children. (One even at 41.) This is not your fault, and I know that you will have as many healthy pregnancies later as you want.
I am so sorry to hear this. I am heartbroken for you and your husband. I can’t imagine your pain, but you are a mother and will be a mother again one day.
I am so sorry to hear this. There is nothing more heartbreaking than the loss of a beloved dream. Hugs to you
I am so sorry to hear this, Brie. Sending lots of love and prayers your way.
chandra recently posted..Now What?
Brie – I am so sad to hear this news.
Kierstan @ Life {and running} in Iowa recently posted..life
Brie, I am so, so sorry for you and Tim. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. I hate this for you so much.
I’m late to this post, but just wanted to tell you again how very sorry I am. I have and will continue to keep you in my thoughts. ((hugs))
Brooke recently posted..Catching Up
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the heartbreak.
Oh dear, honey, I am so terribly sorry. I don’t even know what to say. My heart goes out to you and Tim.
Leah @ L4L recently posted..10 Things
Brie, I’m so sorry for your loss. You are such a sweet person and deserve great things. You and Tim are in my prayers. My heart hurts for you and I don’t even know you. Stay strong!
Oh honey – I’m so sorry. No words will help right now so I’m just going to send you a hug. Lots of them…
Nicole recently posted..Regroup
Brie, I am so sorry for your loss! you blog as little or as much as you want about this…we are here for you!
Sending love and prayers your way.
~Jenn
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I read you blog from time to time and I’m just now catching up. I have a friend who’s going through something similar. Her baby has trisomy 18 and she’s decided to carry her baby as far as she can even though the dr’s tell her the baby might live very far after/if she’s born. They had to fill out paperwork about funeral arrangements and everything before the baby was even born. That would be unbearable. So chin up, you will get pregnant again with a very, happy & healthy baby!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunatly, I can really relate to this, and just read through all your miscarriage posts. I felt so many of the same emotions when I miscarried. It’s so so tough, but life does go on. Even though I have a ton of emotions about getting pregnant again, I do want to and hope that it happens soon for both of us. *hugs*